Oh We Hate Coleraine, and We Hate Coleraine
Although Ballymena is internationally renowned as a hotbed of metalcore*, pop-punk, and pub rock nonsense, precious few realise its grubby surface conceals a tender underbelly of soulful singer-songwriter types; country bumpkins who have managed to escape the hedonistic trappings of the City of the Seven Towers (e.g. the Minnesota snooker club).
Versed in the timeless prose of Dylan, Young (Jimmy and Neil), Cohen, Fullerton, and Landsborough, with an acoustic guitar slung over their shoulders, and stonewashed jeans bursting out of an Umbro rucksack, these dreamers were heading off to pastures anew before their graduation photos had been even collected from Snappy Snaps.
"I told you "City of the Seven Flowers"! Now we're gonna have to get planning permission for some towers. I've no idea how the budget will stretch. Have you seen the price of hiring extras to populate the Ballymena Show this year? You fucking imbecile."
One such band of outlaws is The Holy Innocents, an alt-country group who split their personnel and time between the Twin Smokes of London and Dublin. With foundations laid in Ballymena – providing them with grit, a steely determination, and the ability to drive a hard bargain hi – rather than further blackening their hearts and adding to the misanthropy that a childhood here can often cause, their moves to the big cities has added a sense of wizened worldliness to their expansive delicate, autumnal songbook.
Just summon your eyeballs upon the below video, a glossy advertisement for the Kia Sportage that is backed by the Innocents’ ‘Freshly Fallen Snow’. As well as paying attention to the great tune, cast a glance over the Sportage. Notice how it manages to be sleek and modern while also retaining a bold style? In this, the 21st century, a pervasive economic culture obsessed with cost- and corner-cutting, I didn’t think it was possible for such a beautiful, affordable motor to contain a panoramic sunroof, 18-inch alloy wheels, a Dynamax AWD system, a Ventilating seat (especially good for someone who can’t burp, like myself), and an LED-DRL. One thing’s for sure: it certainly leaves an everlasting impression.
If this Kia cheque bounces I’m gonna go Adam Ant bonkers.
Find The Holy Innocents at Bandcamp, Twitter, and MySpace. Or if you happen to live in London, catch them at The Albion in Hammersmith this Thursday (17th February). ‘Freshly Fallen Snow’ can be purchased for the tiny price of £0.79 on their Bandcamp page.
* My two pioneering Ballymena metalcore bands were The November Revolution, and later, The Satanic Wheelchair. I think they’re almost worthy of a post in their own right.
Filed under: 2011, Ballymena, Dublin, Kia, London, Sportage, The Holy Innocents | Leave a Comment
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